Over the last few years I have received a lesson in grief that I wasn’t looking to learn. My mother passed away in 2021. My brother passed away in 2022, and just recently my father-in-law passed away suddenly.
When my mother and brother passed away so close to one another I reached out to a class called Grief Share. Grief Share is located in most cities and a great resource to help people learn about grief and acknowledge grief practically.
There are 7 primary lessons I learned through Grief Share:
- I learned about grief. Grief is the emotional reaction of sorrow. Sometimes grief can be brought on by loss of a loved one, physical or emotional pain or a type of suffering we might experience in life. It’s possible in our culture in the United States we are so uncomfortable with grief that we might only think of grief in the “most horrible” situations. But it would be better to see grief on a spectrum. There are different levels of grief. There are different levels of intensity as we go through seasons of grief.
- Death isn’t a normal part of life. People will say things like this when you experience loss. However, the Bible teaches us that God created us to experience eternal life. Death in fact, is the result of our sin, therefore, grieving, sorrow, sadness and mourning are all appropriate ways to respond to death.
- God grieves. Again, God created the world to be perfect, therefore, any death we see in the world is grieving to the Lord. So much so He took on flesh to take the ultimate death upon Himself, so that we don’t have to grieve for eternity.
- We can grieve intentionally or accidentally. Grief is going to come out of our soul at some point. We can ignore, suppress, avoid, escape but at some point grief will come to the surface, therefore, don’t shy away from grief. Even scheduling moments in your day or week to acknowledge the pain of death and the hope we have in Jesus can be helpful.
- Don’t try to go through grief alone. You don’t have to open your heart and mind to everyone but it is good to have a few trusted friends who will weep with you in grief. We need godly friends who will acknowledge our pain and remind us of the hope we have in Jesus.
- You can get trapped in grief. Grief is alluring. There is something attractive about giving ourselves over to sadness, therefore, we want to always invite Jesus into our grief. Jesus cares about our grief. Jesus is familiar with grief and sorrow. Jesus has overcome grief, therefore, we want to grieve with Jesus.
- Learn from your loss. Going through the loss of a friend or family member is difficult, but there are valuable lessons. Have you prepared necessary legal documents? The investment in a notarized will is essential. Have you communicated to your spouse about financial details? Have you had important conversations? Every day matters. Going through grief can help us appreciate every day and make the most of those opportunities.
Most of all, I have found rekindling our relationship with the Lord in the midst of grief can be the most difficult. When we experience emotional pain or loss it often touches us in the deepest part of our soul, which is many times set apart only for the Lord.
Before grief there is this deep part of our soul where only the Lord had ventured but in grief there is a pain that breaks into our soul, so that we might find it difficult to distinguish between grief and the Lord.
It’s okay. We don’t have to rush back to that place but we do want to build a process of restoring those parts of our faith. It may take time, but if we take intentional steps, we can definitely get there.
North Village Church
This article was written by Pastor Michael Dennis, Lead Pastor at North Village Church; a non-denominational church in Austin, TX, established in 2009 and built around Jesus and Bible teaching.
Are you looking for a church in Austin? At North Village Church we put Jesus at the center of our church family. We worship together every Sunday at 10:30am, encourage Christ centered fellowship through groups, and host special events such as Bible studies and Theological Training, to ensure that we are rooted in in God’s Word. We also serve our local community in association with several Austin based organizations.
North Village Church is made up of professionals, married couples, singles, and families who are wanting to experience the life-transforming power of Jesus. If you are a family with children or teens, we can support you with either or both our Kids Ministry and Youth Ministry.
Check out our North Village Church calendar highlights.
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