This is a sermon series called Origin Story: Genesis 3:16, “Consequences.” August 16, 2026 You can watch more here.
Have you noticed how most people want to be in a romantic relationship but underestimate how hard it is to be in a romantic relationship? In the beginning it’s all warm and tingly, but then at some point we start to see different values, different goals, different personalities and it starts to take effort!
I remember before we started North Village Church I was involved in larger churches. And, in larger churches I would primarily work with full-time staff to encourage and equip them to get involved with the people. It was easy! When it came time to teach on Sundays, I would be in a room by myself praying, resting, thinking about the message, until someone would come and say, “They are ready for you to take the stage. It was really nice!”
But somewhere along the way, I thought, “I don’t want to be tucked away in a room working with full-time staff. I want to be with the people. I want to get my hands dirty. I want to see life on life,” so we started North Village Church, and the last 18-years have been awesome! But after about 6-months of getting up close and personal with people I started thinking, “Man, I miss that quiet room!”
It’s because people are messy. People are messy in churches. People are messy in a dating relationship. My wife and I have been married 27-years. She’s my best friend, but there are times where we frustrate one another. It happens! But we’re going to see in our passage this morning, those complications in relationships are a means of God’s grace to ultimately draw us back to Himself. Let’s look at Genesis 3:16:
Genesis 3:16, “To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children; yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
If you are new this morning, we’ve been teaching through Genesis verse by verse. Genesis is in the Old Testament. Genesis 1-2 teaches us that all of creation is designed by Him, through Him and for Him, so that in Genesis 1-2 everything is perfect. But in Genesis 3 there is a wrinkle in the story, so that in verse 16, we see the Lord zeroing in on how sin (1-7) is affecting the relationship between Adam and Eve.
Remember, Genesis 1, Adam and Eve are made in the image of God. Genesis 2 they are naked and unafraid. They have come together in marriage as one flesh. It’s perfect! But in Genesis 3 our sin fractures our relationship with God and humanity. It’s vertical fracture and a horizontal fracture, and we’re only going to look at one verse this morning but we are going to see 4 movements through this verse:
Genesis 3:16, “To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children; yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
Movement #1: I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth.
At first glance, our first movement could look mean, like, “Why would God make childbirth painful?” That sounds mean! But, we need to remember He didn’t make childbirth painful. Right? He made childbirth to be perfect in Genesis 1-2. Adam and Eve were sent out to be fruitful and multiply, which involves making babies without pain, but now in Genesis 3 there is a fracture vertical and horizontal, so that birthing children and raising children would have been pain free!
That word “pain” in the original language is “toil and sorrow.” Write that down. It’s the same word used for Adam when Adam is trying to bring forth life from the ground in the next verse. It’s toil, sorrow, and pain. I’m going to be annoyingly repetitive because I don’t want us to miss this. The God of Scripture didn’t create the world to be toil, sorrow and pain. He created the world to be perfect, but because of our sin there is a fracture vertically and horizontally, and it isn’t to be mean, it’s an extension of His grace to draw us back to Himself. Write that down!
I am guessing some of us might be thinking, “How come we have to suffer for something Adam and Eve did?” Anyone have that question? (Raise your hands) We might be thinking to ourselves, “If I were Adam or Eve, I wouldn’t have eaten from that tree!” Really? Is that what happened when our parents said, “Don’t play in the street?” Right? We all ran into the street. Maybe some of us took a little longer, but eventually we say to ourselves, “The ball is just right there. Nobody will know. I can get it so fast! What’s the big deal?” That’s every human being!
Therefore, the “pain in childbirth” isn’t God being mean. “The pain in childbirth” is God’s grace drawing us back to Himself, so that men and women would see the pain, feel the pain, and it’s like an alarm being rung out to creation, “It wasn’t meant to be like this…”I mean, think about it, we don’t see this with the rest of creation. Most animals give birth easily. The horse gives birth and it just slides right out walking, but not so with humanity!
It isn’t punishment for the sake of punishment. It’s evidence that every human being can identify with, so that male and female can just see the acting of giving birth in a movie and it makes us uncomfortable. It’s because the whole experience is ringing out to creation, “Something is off.”Something is missing because a fracture has taken place and we feel that fracture vertically and we feel it horizontally, so that the Apostle Paul picks up on this language in the New Testament when he writes, “God has sent His Son, born of a woman.” He’s connecting Jesus to Genesis 3:16. (Galatians 4) So, that the very pain in child birth becomes the means by which God brings forth the One who becomes the answer to our sin.
So, that when Jesus talks about His death and resurrection He uses the example of “a woman in labor has pain, but when she gives birth she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy.” (John 16:21). So, yes, the woman experiences significant pain in childbirth, but it isn’t wasted pain. It is redemptive pain, because every birth is a reminder that God is going to bring life out of a world filled with pain. Amen? Let’s look at our second movement:
Genesis 3:16, “To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children; yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
Movement #1: I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth.
Movement #2: In pain you will bring forth children.
This sounds the same as the first movement, but it’s different because the Lord will use the pain of motherhood to draw those mothers to Himself. Now, look, it doesn’t mean you have to give birth as a woman to know Jesus, but it is often in motherhood that a woman will come to the end of herself and turn to the Lord.
I’ve worked as a pastor for 25-years and I have seen it over and over. A young female doesn’t want anything to do with Jesus, and then she gives birth, and suddenly her heart is soft for the Lord. (Anyone? One verse, let’s keep it interactive.) An older woman doesn’t want anything to do with Jesus and then her son starts to struggle, and she turns to Jesus, so that sometimes the mother’s heart for her children is one of the ways, not the only way, but one of the ways that the Lord will draw women to Himself.
Again, this isn’t the Lord picking on women. In fact, in every relationship there are going to be challenges and our passage is teaching us those challenges aren’t without purpose. Praise God! Those fractures in our horizontal relationships are there because of the fracture in our vertical relationship with God, and it is an extension of God’s grace to draw us to Himself as this reminder, “You weren’t meant to do life apart from Me?” We’re going to try! But He’s going to use it to draw us to Himself. Maybe in motherhood, maybe in work, maybe in success? Those are just the vehicles for the Lord to work, and Genesis 3:16 is teaching us we see it in every human being and we see it from birth! Let’s look at our third movement:
Genesis 3:16, “To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children; yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
Movement #1: I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth.
Movement #2: In pain you will bring forth children.
Movement #3: Yet your desire will be for your husband.
Most men read verse 16 and get really excited when they see the word “desire”, but the word “desire” doesn’t mean sexual desire. The word “desire” is the same word used in Genesis 4:7 when it says, “Sin is crouching at your door, and it’s desire is for you.” The word “desire” is a word for dominating and controlling, so that in verse 16 we see God’s Word teaching us that He created marriage to be perfect (Genesis 2), but because of our sin, we are going to see conflict in marriage between husband and wife. Anyone?
The end of verse 16 is describing a war of wills in marriage. Write that down. It is two people metaphorically arm wrestling to be in charge. So, many times men and women will feel like they can do life on their own just fine. Especially in Austin! When you talk to your friends about Jesus the most common response is, “Why do I need Jesus?” My life is great! I am accomplishing my goals. I am living in luxury, so that sometimes, people will think, “Why does Jesus matter?”
But, then those same beautiful, successful, smart, strong people fall in love, get married, and all of a sudden, they have someone in their life they can’t control! They have someone in their life who has opinions about how they spend money, use their time, and how they load the dishwasher! And, sometimes the Lord can use the gift of marriage to expose the brokenness of humanity to draw His people to Himself. Amen?
It doesn’t mean we have to get married to know Jesus, but it does mean, if we get married, there is a good chance we are going to feel overwhelmed and the Lord will use that to draw us to Himself. It’s His grace! Now, verse 16 isn’t saying this is the experience for every female in marriage, but generally speaking it is common to find a wife in marriage that likes to be in control. Is that fair?
We’re going to see it with Adam in the next movement, but sometimes a wife can be overly excited about being in charge, taking responsibility, and setting the emotional / spiritual temperature of the marriage. (I know, this can be uncomfortable, but just stay with me.) The husband will see his smart, capable, strong, wife who is good with details, and think, “She’s got it!!” And, in the beginning it might work, but in my experience, eventually that husband will start to feel emasculated, disengaged, treated like a child, and start to pull back,
In addition, that wife was excited in the beginning, but over time she starts to get frustrated, feel exhausted, and resent her husband, so that they can spiral in discouragement. Maybe some of us are seeing some of those patterns in our marriage right now, so I want to be gentle. Remember, this pattern is the consequences of our sin and the Lord will use these challenges to draw us to Himself. Praise God!
This is what makes God’s Word so powerful. I have sat down with an engaged couple, probably don’t know Jesus, but for some reason they wanted me to officiate their wedding. I would tell them, “You don’t want me to officiate their wedding!” Then, I would walk them through these verses in Genesis 3, and they would say to me, “That’s horrible. That’s chauvinistic. That’s 1950’s.”
Then, I would say to the couple, “When you get married, do you want a marriage where the husband is excited about your marriage, speaking into your marriage engaged in your marriage, or do you want a husband that is quiet, sits in his chair, works late hours, and finds hobbies to play on the weekend?”
Every time, no matter how much they disliked the verses they would say, “I want a husband that is engaged and excited about our marriage! Verse 16 is saying, “That’s not going to happen naturally!” Sin is working against us in marriage. It isn’t God being mean. It is a means of His grace to draw us to Himself! Amen?
Therefore, as a married woman you are wanting to “Where are there areas of my marriage where I am overpowering my husband?” Where are there patterns where I am trying to be helpful but I am taking control?” It doesn’t mean this needs to change overnight, but it does mean it would be good for a wife to slow down, and periodically turn to her husband and say, “What do you think we should do?” And then wait! Sometimes, that feeling of waiting is going to stir up fear, anxiety, and worry, which is a great opportunity to turn to Jesus to find our security in Him. Let’s look at our last movement:
Genesis 3:16, “To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children; yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
Movement #1: I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth.
Movement #2: In pain you will bring forth children.
Movement #3: Yet your desire will be for your husband.
Movement #4: And He will rule over you.
Just as we see the challenge for the wife in marriage, we see the husband wanting to rule over his wife in a controlling way. Just to be clear, this isn’t what God wants. What God wants is Genesis 2 where everything is perfect, but in our sin, there is a fracture vertically and horizontally, so that sometimes a husband can be controlling in a marriage.
At first glance, it could look like our 4th movement is only talking about abuse, adultery, and addiction, which is absolutely a problem, but the type of control in verse 16 is broader than just those areas. Sometimes a controlling husband can exert too much influence in the marriage so that he is determining where they eat, how to spend money, what to do on the weekends, where they live, so that all decisions need to run past him.
Sometimes the husband doesn’t have yell and slam doors to be controlling. Sometimes a husband can be so controlling, it is easier for the wife to just agree with the husband instead of engage in conversation. In our marriage, this is probably our bigger challenge. We got married in our 20’s, so that the first 5-years of our marriage Holly would largely defer to me. And, at the time I thought, “Wow, I must be a great husband, my wife just agrees with everything!” This is great!”
By God’s grace, I saw that our marriage started looking more like me than her, so I had to make intentional changes in our decision making to get Holly’s fingerprints on our marriage. Even now, when we have conflict I want to talk about it right away. I want to talk about every detail of the argument. I want us to identify the problem, solve the problem, and move on from the problem.
But, Holly would prefer to never talk about the problem, so in the early parts of our marriage I thought we were doing great, but I wasn’t taking the time to draw out my wife. So now, in an argument I have to slow down, and it’s really hard! I try to give her time to process. And, it’s really hard, but just because I am ready to talk doesn’t mean she’s ready to talk, so I have to be patient and I turn to Jesus, “Help me be patient.” She turns to Jesus, “Help me process why I am frustrated!” So, that the Lord is using the challenges in our marriage to draw closer together and closer to Him. Amen?
Therefore, as a married man you are wanting to consider the weight of Genesis 3:16 and ask yourself, “Where are there areas of my marriage where I am overpowering my wife?” Where I’m not drawing out my wife?” It doesn’t mean this needs to change overnight, but it does mean it would be good for a husband to slow down, turn to his wife and say, “What do you think about our finances, calendar, parenting, spiritual life?
In God’s Word, marriage isn’t a hierarchy of one over the other. It also isn’t both are equal. Husband and wife are equal in value, but Scripture teaches that marriage is complimentary. They each have roles, husband leading, wife helping but both complimenting one another, so that together marriage can become beautiful.
And, it’s possible you might be thinking, “Why are we talking about marriage and parenting?” It’s because we’re building something special here as a church family. That means at the macro and micro level. Because we’re going to see relational challenges in our church family and in our marriages. And there’s no perfect relationships. No perfect marriages. No perfect churches.
And sometimes we can see these relational conflicts in our life and we can say to ourselves, “I need to leave this city, job, church, or relationship.”In those moments, it doesn’t mean more control or less control. It means coming under the One who is in control. His name is Jesus! Amen?Under Jesus’ control we can speak up and still find rest and peace that He is in control. We can listen to something we don’t agree with and do it without fear. We don’t have to win every argument, because we are trusting Jesus.
That’s what He is building in our church family! We are living in a world where men and women are longing for control and security and stability, and He says, “Come to Me.” But that only happens through Jesus. Just to be clear, our passage is a warning of judgment. Right now, is a time to turn to Jesus and seek His forgiveness, but if we don’t there will be a day when His judgment is final. It’s called Hell. You don’t want to wait until that day! Turn to Jesus now! Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord. Believe in your heart that Jesus rose from the dead. And follow Him so that you can know of the joy of being under His rest and control today!
North Village Church
This sermon is brought to you by North Village Church, a non-denominational church in Austin by the Domain, established in 2009 and built around Jesus and Bible teaching. Are you looking for a church in Austin? At North Village Church we put Jesus at the center of our church family. We worship together every Sunday at 10:30am, encourage Christ centered fellowship through groups, and host special events such as Bible studies and Theological Training, to ensure that we are rooted in in God’s Word. We also serve our local community in association with several Austin based organizations.
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