7 Steps to Develop Deeper Friendships

This last week we have heard stories of two high school students at two different high schools in AISD taking their own life. I am sure we have all read the data about the challenges of mental health for all people coming out of the pandemic. We all know one article isn’t going to repair the brokenness of humanity but there is one step that can make a big difference on our mental health; friendships.

It isn’t just having more followers, more likes, or more people to sit next to on a Sunday morning. It is taking practical steps to develop deeper friends. How deep does a friendship need to develop? Is there a scale for us to measure the depth of our friendships? Even if you have a natural connection with another person, we can often times go years before we develop deep layers in our friendships.

1. Tell Stories

Sharing our stories with one another makes a big difference. How could we possibly understand the fullness of someone’s story with 5-minute conversations here and there? We could even sit in bible studies with people for years and never really share our story. (This fall, our church family is inviting people into small groups of 4-5 people and commit to taking 45-minutes to share a bit of our story from birth to present. We won’t be able to cover every part of every story but we are hopeful it helps deepen our relationships with one another.)

2. Schedule an Activity

It isn’t likely that two people are going to develop deep friendships by sitting across from one another and hearing one another’s story. But finding an area or areas where you can take part in an activity together does help.

3. Share Food

Who doesn’t like to eat! We can meet at a location or invite people into our homes but breaking bread or even getting a coffee with someone while our children play at the park can make a big difference.

4. Learn Together

Today we have more access to information than we can imagine. Why not read a book with someone, study God’s Word, listen to a podcast, or watch a television series with someone at the same time, so that you can discuss what you are learning? Here are some of my recent favorites:

5. Ask Questions

My brain tends to lock up when I am talking to people and I can’t think of any questions, so I came up with what I call “Go To Questions.”

Where did you grow up?
What was your home life like as a child?
Did you have a church / faith background?
Why did you move to Austin?
What do you do for fun?

6. Elaborate on Answers

When people ask questions, it is easy to give as little information as possible. For example, “Where did you grow up?” I respond, “I grew up in Dallas.” (Silence.) Instead draw out your answers. We don’t want to dominate the conversation but we are trying to help one another go deeper so giving a little more context can go a long way. We could say, “I grew up in Dallas. Actually, I grew up in Irving, which is the original home of the Dallas Cowboys. I literally lived across the street from the stadium off Loop 12 and watched them win 3 super bowls when I was in high school, so I’m kind of a fan.” It gives the listener 4-5 things to talk about if they are interested.

7. Pray

Asking for prayers, praying for each other individually and praying for each other together are great ways to go deeper in our friendships. (This fall NVC will be challenging everyone to go deeper in prayer and praying with others is one of the easiest ways this can happen in our life.)

North Village Church

This article was written by Pastor Michael Dennis, Lead Pastor at North Village Church; a non-denominational church in Austin, TX, established in 2009 and built around Jesus and Bible teaching.

Are you looking for a church in Austin? At North Village Church we put Jesus at the center of our church family. We worship together every Sunday at 10:30am, encourage Christ centered fellowship through groups, and host special events such as Bible studies and Theological Training, to ensure that we are rooted in in God’s Word. We also serve our local community in association with several Austin based organizations.

North Village Church is made up of professionals, married couples, singles, and families who are wanting to experience the life-transforming power of Jesus. If you are a family with children or teens, we can support you with either or both our Kids Ministry and Youth Ministry.

Check out our North Village Church calendar highlights such as our Christmas Eve Service in Austin and Easter Sunday Service.

You are welcome to contact us if you would like more information, please call (512)-623-9272 or email [email protected]

NVC Online

Unable to attend this Christian Church in Austin? Don’t worry, because, through God’s provision, we have created NVC online, an Online Church streaming a worship service every Sunday from 10:30am Central Time. You can also watch our short, powerful sermons on demand and follow us on Instagram for daily Christ centered content.

Photo by Courtney Cook on Unsplash

7 Steps to Develop Deeper Friendships